“Hey, Dick,” Buckington yelled. “Come on over and have a drink.”

I turned around, but there was no one behind me. “You mean me?” I asked, hand to my chest. “Please, if Richard’s too formal for you call me Rich, or even Ritchie. I don’t like Dick.”

“Shit, Son,” Buckington said, putting his big arm around my shoulder, “you ain’t rich, at least compared to me, and ‘Ritchie’ sounds like you’re a seven year old with no hair on his balls. Nope, you look like a Dick to me. Meet Cosmo, my bartender. Cosmo, this is Dick Hare from What’s It To You magazine. Come to do a story on me.”

Go Back to The Village of Butt: Act I Excerpts