"So, Abe John, you must have really had to take a squirt bad, since it took you over a half hour. And why did Val have to be in there with you? Did she have to hold your schlong or somethin’?”

“I don’t know,” Abe said, staring at his shoes.

“Come on, Abe John,” Buckington said. “You can tell us what happened, since we’re all adults here, even though we don’t usually act like it.”

“Nothin’ happened,” Abe said, glancing sideways at Val.

“Did you get a nice long gander at Val’s open wound?” Buckington asked, giggling. “Did it look like a nappy dugout, or was it shaved all bald and smooth?”

“Knock it off, Buckington,” Sue said. “Can’t you tell he doesn’t want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Buckington said. “I just wanna know if he got his twinkie stinky, is all. Shit, the first time I got laid, I was shoutin’ it from the fuckin’ rooftops. Of course I was just a kid, and not a grown man like Abe John here.”

Go Back to The Village of Butt: Number Two Excerpts