The guitar lead in proved Poppa could play, and when he started to sing, I think he surprised everyone in the club. Twatilda said he could carry a tune, but he was better than that, his surprisingly deep voice was actually a pleasure to listen to. When I listened closer to his lyrics, however, I wasn’t too sure that Mona would find them pleasurable at all. I glanced over at her, as Twatilda did the same, and she was frowning and shaking her head from side to side as her husband sang,

“Her knees are kinda scaly and her clothes all have dinge, I see her in the morning and I almost cringe… but I love her to death. Even though her feet smell real bad and so does her breath.”

“Oh, God,” Twatilda said, face buried in her hands. “What in the world is he doing up there?”

“Her pasty skin has wrinkles where her neck should be, her jowls that hang so loosely hide a chin you cannot see, and her moles all have hairs… but when I see her in the darkness, I don’t see any of that there.” Here’s the chorus, sing along everybody.”

“I think I’m going to die,” Twatilda said, shaking her head, but it didn’t come close to matching the shaking Mona was doing, her humongous pie face was as red as a dog’s erection.

“My Mama up in heaven wonders what I’m thinkin’ bout, for makin’ love to a woman that’s so awful big and stout, but I tell her this, in my thoughts and my dreams… I’ll love my big and jigglin’ woman though she’s burstin’ at the seams.”

Mona seemed to be having a hard time bending over to pick up her purse from the floor, but she up-righted herself with help from Asscrack Jack, who noticed she was having trouble.

“She keeps a picture of me on a shelf above her bed, the pillow that she uses is much smaller than her head, but she brightens my eyes… I love the way her belly flesh is hangin’ down to her thighs.”

“Goddamn,” Buckington said. “I can’t believe he said that line, and your mother doesn’t look too happy. It is a catchy tune, though.”

“This is the last chorus… everybody sing along. My Mama up in heaven now knows why I fell in love, with a woman who can shade me from the steamy sun above, and I tell her this, almost every time I pray… I’ll love my big and jigglin’ woman, forever and a day.”

“You son of a bitch,” Mona screamed, as everyone else was clapping, and laughing at the big and jigglin’ woman. She struggled to throw her purse at her husband on stage, but the fatness of her arm got caught on her chair, causing the purse to konk the guy on the noggin’ sitting in front of her.

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