"Hey, Dick, I was gonna get Clint Eastwood to autograph my .44 magnum, you know, the most powerful handgun in the world, but it’s at my house and he’s leavin’ soon. What should I do?”

“That’s quite a dilemma,” I said smartly. “Just give him a Sharpie and have him sign, ‘Go ahead… make my day’, on the wall up there behind Harry. That way, everybody can enjoy it.”

“You’re a fuckin’ genie, Dick,” Buckington said grinning. “But where the hell am I gonna get a Sharpie on such short notice?”

“There’s about thirty of them back here,” Harry said, handing Buckington several of them.

“I haven’t been behind that bar,” Buckington said, “since I made a drink for that he man Dollie woman. It gives me like, bad memories, or somethin’. Come on over and join the fun, Dick. Me and Abe are havin’ a blast.”

“That’s okay,” I said. “You go on and have your blast. I think I’ll go back to your house and hug my girlfriend.”

“As long as you don’t hug mine,” Buckington said, heading to the restaurant. “Well, you can hug her all you want, but keep your fingers out of her lady parts.”

Go Back to The Village of Butt: Threesome Excerpts