“Can you explain the circumstances that led up to you treating my lovely wife, Glo, like a tackling dummy?” Squat asked.

“Well,” Buckington said. “I met this tall red head chick named Dollie, with the biggest tits I ever seen. They were as fake as your wife’s hair color, but tits they were, and real men like you and me do love tits. To make a long story short, Squat, I got this broad in my bed, and took off half her clothes. I shoved my hand down her panties, and instead of findin’ a puss… ummm, a cun… what can I call a pussy on TV?”

“A vagina, might be nice,” Squat said, to laughs from the audience.

“Yeah,” Buckington said. “A bagina would’ve been nice, but I ended up grabbin’ onto a little man dick and a puny set of balls. Dollie turned out to be a transvestibule.”

“Don’t you mean a transvestite?” Squat asked.

“I don’t know what the hell you call him her,” Buckington said. “But I kicked that man broad outta my house faster than your nose is swellin’ up.”

“So, why in God’s name did you bounce Glo off the dirt?” Squat asked. “She’s all woman, all the time… believe you me.”

“I believe you me,” Buckington said. “But when I seen a tall redhead at Papa Nutt’s birthday party, I thought it was that Dollie with a dick, and just couldn’t help myself. I never would’ve smashed her into the ground if I knew it was Glo, I swear.”

...

"So, Buckington, you’re quite the ladies man, and always were. Are there any stories you’d like to tell our audience about any of your past conquests?”

“The contest is over, Squat,” Buckington said, smiling. “I’m gonna be a married man comin’ up here pretty quick... well, we don’t have a date set yet, but I’m hitchin’ my wagon to the beautiful Rhonda Voo. How do you like them apples?”

“Well, that’s quite a surprise,” Squat said. “And rather shocking, actually. I never thought a man like you could settle down with one woman for the rest of your life.”

“Me, neither,” Buckington said. “But she’s the sweetest piece of… I mean to say that, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me. She’s gorgeous, and smart, and she don’t like to take it up the crapper like some skanks do, and that’s a good thing, 'cause I don’t like to stick my peeper in a place where poop comes from.”

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