A Tale of Two Gimps

Duff Sees Mouse For The First Time

Click image for larger viewTwo days after the halo incident, Duff was wheeled to physical therapy and strapped to a slant board. He was raised to 65 degrees, 15 more than ever before. Mouse was on the board next to him, strapped in at 90 degrees. Facing a mirror that ran the length of the large room, Duff saw Mouse upright for the first time, looking younger and smaller than when he was seated.

“How do you stay so skinny?” Duff asked.

“Runnin’ from trouble,” Mouse said. “There was always somebody after us. We robbed the trains almost every week and never got caught.”

Ten minutes later, Mouse was still rambling on about the things he stole, the drugs he took, and the alcohol he drank, and Duff needed a break. He was about to call for Colleen, but saw her standing in front of him.

“Are you ready for some mat work?” she asked.

“Whatever you want me to do,” Duff said.

“Curtis, James,” she yelled. “Can you guys help me with Duff?”

“Wait,” Mouse said, “before you take him, I got a joke.”

“Make it quick,” Colleen said.

“A guy picks up a hooker in Atlantic City and asks, ‘How much for a fuck?’”

“Hey,” Curtis said, “there’s no need for that kind of language.”

“It makes it funnier,” Mouse said. “All right, 'how much to get laid?'” The hooker says, ‘forty dollars.’ The guy says, ‘Ok, let’s go on the beach under the boardwalk.’ They go down there, and they’re fuc... humpin’ away, and he’s just ready to cum when the hooker lets out this monstrous fart. The guy blows his load and stands to pull up his pants. He gives the hooker a fifty. She says, ‘What’s the extra ten for baby, was I that good?’ The guy says, ‘No, that’s for blowin’ the sand off my balls.”

“Man that’s cold,” Curtis said. Duff burst out laughing and couldn’t catch his breath.

“All right kids,” Colleen said, “we have work to do.”

Duff began choking on his gum.

“Cough it up. Come on, cough.” With the hard plastic shell of the halo covering his upper body, there was no smacking of the back to dislodge the gum. “Come on, please cough.”

Duff finally managed one good hack, shooting the gum three feet into the air, and landing on Colleen’s shoulder.

“You scared the shit out of me. No more chewing gum when you’re on that board.”

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